Secret Santa for families with children
Everyone in the family receives one gift, including children who are too young to buy one. A parent adds each child without creating an account, adults agree who covers the extra gifts before the draw, and each match stays private, even from the organizer.
How each person takes part
Every exchange can have up to 50 participants, adults and children together. Everyone receives one gift.
| Participant | Signs in | Receives | Gives |
|---|---|---|---|
| Adult | Yes, with their own account | 1 gift | 1 gift, plus any extra gifts they accept |
| Child who receives only | No, a responsible adult manages them | 1 gift | None. An adult accepts one extra gift |
| Child who gives with help | No, a responsible adult manages them | 1 gift | 1 gift, chosen or made with their adult |
A worked example: four adults and two children
Alex, Blair, Casey and Drew take part with two children who only receive: Robin, whom Alex looks after, and Kit, whom Blair looks after.
Alex and Blair each accept one extra gift, so both children are covered. Six people receive and six gifts are promised, so the draw can start.
The budget is per gift. At €25 per gift, Alex and Blair each plan for up to €50, and Casey and Drew for up to €25. These are fictional amounts, not a recommended budget.
Matching numbers are necessary but not enough. The household rule and any exclusions must still leave every gift a possible recipient, and the draw never drops a rule to make the numbers work.
Work through the full example, including a draw that cannot run
| Person | Receives | Gives |
|---|---|---|
| AlexAdultExtra gift | 1 | 2 |
| BlairAdultExtra gift | 1 | 2 |
| CaseyAdult | 1 | 1 |
| DrewAdult | 1 | 1 |
| RobinChild, receives only | 1 | 0 |
| KitChild, receives only | 1 | 0 |
| Total | 6 | 6 |
Balanced: 6 gifts for 6 people
A responsible adult looks after each child
The adult who adds a child manages their nickname, optional age range, way of taking part and wishlist. It does not have to be a parent: a grandparent or an aunt can do it too.
Use a nickname and a few interests. Leave out school names, addresses and contact details, and arrange deliveries privately between adults.
Print the Secret Santa questionnaire, with a version for kids
What stays private
- The organizer cannot see who gives to whom. Each adult sees only their own matches and those of the children they manage, and the server enforces this, not only the screen.
- Children never sign in and never need an email address or a password.
- A child’s wishlist is visible to their responsible adult and, after the draw, to the adult who gives to them.
- SantaTogether shows no ads and does not ask for delivery addresses.
- SantaTogether sends no messages for you. You share the invitation link yourself.
Family Secret Santa guides
Each guide answers one planning question: children, budgets, exclusions, invitations, wishlists and choosing an app.
- Secret Santa with kids: how children join and who buys the extra giftsInclude kids in a family Secret Santa without giving them accounts: parents add child profiles, adults agree the extra gifts, and wishlists stay private.
- Family Secret Santa rules: budgets, couples and childrenAgree on a budget, dates, children’s participation, exclusions and late arrivals before drawing names.
- Include children in Secret Santa without giving them accountsHow parent-managed participation keeps sign-in, wishlists and gift commitments with adults.
- How to make a useful Secret Santa wishlistUse eight short wishlist questions and adult or child examples to give your Secret Santa useful ideas without oversharing.
- Family Secret Santa invitation messages: copy-and-paste templatesCopy and adapt clear family invitation messages explaining the budget, dates and children’s participation.
- Secret Santa exclusions: couples, children and impossible drawsSet partner and household exclusions, see why balanced gifts can still leave an impossible draw, and work through a family example that can be repaired.
- Can you do Secret Santa with an odd number?Yes. Secret Santa does not need pairs. See a three-person example, how children change the gift count, and when exclusions make a draw impossible.
- How to organize a long-distance family Secret SantaPlan a remote family gift exchange with separate mailing and opening dates, private address sharing, clear budgets and parent-managed children.
- Elfster alternatives for a family Secret Santa: a 2026 comparisonElfster, DrawNames, Secret Santa 22, Giftster and SantaTogether compared from their own pages: price, children without email, exclusions and Spanish.
- How to draw names for Secret Santa online, step by stepDraw names for Secret Santa online in seven steps: what a fair draw must guarantee, how paper, sites and apps compare, and an example with a couple.
- Secret Santa generator for families: how the draw worksA Secret Santa generator for families with children: what you enter, the rules it checks, why it refuses an impossible draw and who sees each match.
Questions families ask
Do children need an account or an email address?
No. The adult who looks after a child adds them to the exchange with a nickname. Children never sign in.
Who buys the gift for a child who only receives?
An adult who accepts one extra gift. Nobody gets an extra gift without accepting it, and the gift balance shows what is still missing before the draw.
Can the organizer see who gives to whom?
No. The organizer sees their own matches and those of the children they manage, like every other adult. The server enforces this, not only the screen.
Can a parent draw their own child?
Not by default. The household rule stops an adult and the children they manage from giving to each other, and only the organizer can turn it off. Each adult is their own household, so add an exclusion in both directions if two partners should not draw each other.
Can someone join or leave after the draw?
Nobody can join until the organizer resets the draw. If an adult leaves or removes a child they manage, the draw is cancelled after a confirmation and the organizer draws again. Talk to the family first, because someone may already have bought a gift.
Start your family exchange
Create it, share one private link with the adults, and add the children you look after yourself. It is free.