Secret Santa reveal ideas for a family exchange

A Secret Santa reveal is when each person learns who gave them their present. Agree before gift day whether to reveal at all. If you do, open the presents one at a time and let each person guess before the giver tells them.

SantaTogether has no button that reveals who gave to whom. It never shows anyone the full list, not even the organizer: each adult sees only their own matches and those of the children they look after. Nothing in the app changes on gift day either, so any reveal is up to your family. If you have not drawn names yet, create a family exchange.

You can also keep the secret for good: write ‘From your Secret Santa’ on every tag, and nobody tells. Archiving the exchange afterwards changes nothing about who sees what. In a small group, though, people may work it out.

Choose a plan and post it in the family chat:

• Reveal as you go: once a present is open, its giver says so.
• Guess first: the recipient guesses, then the giver answers.
• Keep it secret: nobody says, and everyone thanks their Secret Santa in the chat.

• How to keep Secret Santa a secret until gift day

Hand out the presents with no giver’s name on the tags, then open them one at a time. For a guessing round, give each recipient three guesses. If anyone doubts an answer, the giver can open their match in SantaTogether and show the name on their screen.

In a chain, once a giver is known, they open their own present next. Giving does not have to be mutual, so the person who gave to you may have received from someone else. If the turn reaches someone who has opened already, anyone who has not opened goes next.

In a fictional family, Martha takes part with her children Patrick, Harriet and Ewan. Patrick’s daughter Poppy, 7, gives with his help. Harriet’s son Alfie, 3, only receives, so Harriet agrees to give two gifts; the draw decides who receives them. The household rule leaves 58 complete results. The table shows one of them: the youngest opens first, and the chain reaches everyone.

• Why Secret Santa does not need pairs

SantaTogether has no video call or chat, so use the call app your family already uses. Post the call’s time and time zone in the family chat.

Agree a send-by date that suits each destination, so presents arrive before the call. Each parcel stays closed until its recipient’s turn. Then the recipient opens it on camera and guesses, and the giver unmutes to answer.

In the example, the family meets at Martha’s table and Ewan joins by video from abroad. He posts his present for Patrick in time, Patrick helps Poppy post hers to Ewan, and someone at the table points the camera at each present.

Anyone who misses the call can open their present later, and the giver can reveal in the family chat.

• Plan send-by and opening dates for relatives far away

Let young children open first, and keep guessing simple: offer two names to choose from.

A child who gives with help can reveal their own present. In SantaTogether, the child’s match sits on its own tag, which only the adult who looks after them can open. Poppy chose the present for Ewan with Patrick, so she tells him on the call that it came from her.

A child who only receives has no name to reveal; their giver can sit beside them and say ‘It was me’. An adult cannot see in the app who gives to the children they look after, so Harriet learns with Alfie that his present came from Martha.

If a child is disappointed, give them a moment away from the table, and talk later, in private.

• How to explain Secret Santa to kids

A late gift does not change the draw, and nothing in the app needs to change. There is no reason to reset the draw: a reset cancels every match.

A match nobody has opened can mean a present nobody has bought. A week before gift day, the organizer can check the count on the exchange page, such as ‘5 of 6 matches have been opened by their adults’, and remind everyone without knowing whose match is closed.

If your present for an adult will be late, ask another adult you trust to tell the family that one present is late, without saying who it is from or for. If it is for a child, tell the adult who looks after them.

At the reveal, the recipient takes a turn with a card or a photo, and the giver reveals now or when the present arrives. If it is lost, the giver can pick another idea from the recipient’s wishlist, which they can still read.

SantaTogether has no chat or messaging, so thanks go where your family already talks: in person, by message or in the family chat. Name the present and say what you will do with it.

If you kept the secret, thank your Secret Santa in the family chat without guessing a name. If you revealed, thank the giver directly. A child can send a drawing or a voice message through the adult who looks after them: Harriet sends Martha a photo of Alfie’s drawing.

Three messages to copy and adapt:

• ‘Thank you, Secret Santa, for the [present]. I have already [used it].’
• ‘Thank you, [name], for the [present]. You remembered [what I like].’
• ‘[Child] says thank you for the [present] and has played with it all day.’

• Copy more messages for the family chat