How much to spend on Secret Santa: set the budget per gift

There is no right amount to spend on Secret Santa, and we have no data on what families usually spend. This guide gives a method instead: set one budget per gift, then add up what each person will spend in total. Someone who gives two gifts spends twice the amount, so choose a figure that is still comfortable for whoever gives the most. Agree it before you create the family exchange: you enter the budget per gift when you create it, and it cannot be changed later. A budget is a limit, not a target.

A budget per person limits what each giver spends. A budget per gift limits what each present costs. They only match when everyone gives one gift.

Take a €20 limit and an adult who gives an extra gift because a child only receives. Per gift, that adult spends up to €40, and both recipients get a gift worth up to €20. Per person, the adult spends €20 in total, so their two recipients get about €10 each while everyone else gets up to €20. SantaTogether asks for a budget per gift.

The cost is then uneven between adults, so share the extra gifts and let each adult choose their own number. In SantaTogether, every adult gives at least one gift, and more only if they choose. As they pick, the app shows their total: ‘Your budget: up to €40 for 2 gifts.’

A gift budget with postage on top is a bigger commitment than the same amount with postage included. The printable questionnaire has a line for the budget per gift and boxes for handmade gifts, experiences and second-hand finds.

Before anyone shops, settle these three points and write them in the invitation, for example ‘€25 per gift, postage separate’:

• Postage: inside the budget, or paid on top by the giver.
• Wrapping and cards: inside the budget, or extra.
• Handmade gifts, experiences and second-hand finds: welcome or not, and whether materials count.

• Print the questionnaire, with a line for the budget per gift

Maya, Owen, Priya and Sam are joining with two children. Maya’s daughter Lily gives a gift with Maya’s help. Owen’s son Theo only receives, so Priya agrees to give an extra gift. Six people receive and six gifts are agreed: Maya, Owen, Sam and Lily give one each, and Priya gives two.

Check the largest personal total in the table, not the family total. At €40 per gift, Maya and Priya would each commit up to €80. If that is too much for either of them, choose a lower amount. If only Priya finds it too much, another adult can take her extra gift.

These are fictional amounts, not a recommended budget. The arithmetic is the same in dollars, pounds or Swiss francs.

A child who only receives adds a recipient but no gift. An adult has to accept an extra gift before the draw, and that adult’s total grows by one budget. Nobody is given an extra gift without accepting it.

A child who gives with help has a gift of their own, which an adult buys or makes with them. In SantaTogether, that gift sits on the child’s row, so the total the app shows the adult covers only their own gifts. Add the child’s gift yourself: in the example, Maya pays for two gifts, not one.

The app has one budget for every gift. If your family wants children’s gifts to cost less, say so in the invitation.

• Who buys the extra gifts when children take part

Each exchange has one budget in one currency. SantaTogether supports four: euros, US dollars, pounds sterling and Swiss francs. Choose the one most of the family spends in. Relatives who shop in another currency convert the amount themselves, for example ‘about €25 per gift in your own currency’; the app never converts amounts or quotes exchange rates.

Settle postage between countries separately. Do not assume everyone can afford international postage just because they agreed to the gift amount.

• Plan a long-distance exchange with send-by and opening dates

Ask before you set the amount, and ask in private. The organizer can propose a figure, invite each adult to reply privately if it is too high, and take the lowest comfortable answer. Nobody should have to explain their finances in the family group.

In SantaTogether, the budget per gift and its currency are set when the organizer creates the exchange, and there is no setting to change them later. The exchange page and every wishlist show that amount. If the family later agrees a different figure, say so clearly in the family chat, because the app keeps showing the first one.

Gift numbers are fixed once names are drawn. Moving an extra gift after that means the organizer resets the draw, which cancels everyone’s matches, so raise money worries before the draw.

• Agree the family rules, budget included, before the draw