Family Secret Santa invitation messages: copy-and-paste templates

“Family Secret Santa? Join by [deadline]: [private invitation link]. The budget is [amount and currency] per gift, with postage [included/separate], and we’ll open gifts on [date]. Adults sign in with Google; parents add children without child accounts. We’ll agree who covers any extra gifts before drawing.”

Replace every bracketed detail before sharing. Add your own private invitation link, not a link copied from an example. You get that link when you create the family exchange. Send it to adults you intend to invite rather than posting it publicly.

• Agree the family rules before sending

“Before we draw on [date], please join through [private invitation link] if you haven’t yet. Adults sign in with Google. Check that the children you manage are included and your giving commitment is correct. We’ll confirm when the draw is complete; please wait for that message before shopping.”

Copying a link or opening a share sheet does not prove someone received a message. Check the actual family membership list before assuming everyone has joined. Ask missing relatives directly if needed.

“The children can receive gifts without buying one. To keep one gift for everyone, adults can volunteer for an extra giving slot. Each slot has the same [amount and currency] budget. Please choose only what you are comfortable taking on.”

Avoid assigning an extra gift in the chat on someone else’s behalf. Each adult should accept their own commitment. Once the draw is complete, keep recipient names out of the shared chat so the surprise remains private.

• See how receive-only children change the gift count

‘Family Secret Santa? 🎁 One gift per recipient, [amount and currency] per gift, opening on [date]. Join by [deadline]: [private invitation link]. Adults sign in with Google; parents add children without child accounts. Extra giving is voluntary. Please reply if you have questions before joining.’

Send this to the intended adults only. A private invitation can be forwarded, so avoid putting it on a public social profile. Do not include children’s full names or personal information just to explain how the exchange works.

‘We can still exchange gifts from different places. Our budget is [amount and currency] per gift, with postage [included/separate]. Please plan to send by [date] and join our call on [date, time and time zone]. Use [private invitation link] to join by [deadline]. We’ll arrange delivery details privately between adults.’

Choose the send-by date using the actual destination and delivery service, rather than assuming one deadline works for every country. If shopping locally for the recipient is easier, agree that with the family. Do not put postal addresses in a shared wishlist.

• Use the long-distance planning checklist

‘A little help for your Secret Santa: please add a few wishlist ideas by [date], preferably within [budget]. Interests or a “surprise me” note are welcome too. Parents, please check the lists for children you manage. No pressure to pick an exact product; a few useful hints are enough.’

Use reminders to reduce guesswork, not to demand a purchase. If a preference changes after drawing, remember the giver may already be shopping. Never ask people to reply with their recipient’s name in the group chat.

• Copy eight useful wishlist questions

‘We’d love to include you, but the names have already been drawn. Before we change anything, I’ll check whether people have started buying gifts. We can keep this exchange unchanged or agree together to reset and draw again. I’ll confirm the plan before asking you to join.’

Do not tell a late joiner to use the invitation: SantaTogether does not let anyone join a drawn exchange until the organizer resets the draw. Discuss the consequences first. This message is a conversation template, not an automated app notification.

‘Our participant list has changed, so the previous draw is cancelled. Please pause shopping and don’t rely on your old assignment. Tell me privately if you have already bought something, without posting your recipient here. We’ll review the remaining gift commitments before drawing again.’

Only send this after confirming the actual draw status. An adult leaving or a parent removing their managed child cancels an active draw. The organizer must reset the draw before removing another adult. Neither action creates replacement matches automatically. Wait until the organizer completes the redraw before sending a new ready-to-shop message.

‘The draw is ready! Please open your private assignment and the assignments of any children you manage. Our budget is [amount and currency] per gift, and our exchange date is [date]. Keep the names a surprise, check the wishlists, and message me if anything looks wrong before you shop.’

Confirm that drawing really succeeded before sending. Opening a share sheet is not proof that a message was delivered, and sending an invitation is not proof that an adult joined. Check the exchange roster for membership and your messaging app for the message itself.

These are messages for you to adapt and send through your chosen channel. SantaTogether does not automatically send these reminders or collect delivery addresses.

• Replace every bracket with the real budget, currency, dates and private invitation link.
• Choose included or separate postage, and check time zones for the actual opening date.
• Match the message to the real state: inviting, waiting to draw, drawn or cancelled.
• Check actual membership and draw status before saying everyone joined or the draw succeeded.
• Keep addresses, child details and recipient names out of the group message.